The wonderful thing is that Jesus is not like man. He grips the heart of the broken and fills them up with His love.  I needed that love.  That love that was not tainted, tampered, damaged, broken and shattered.  His love is perfect and overwhelming. The warmth of our savior fills our existence with love. That same warmth consumed my very being. I wanted more of that love. I needed that love to survive.  I never thought that I would ever make it this far in life.  Wounds can be very deep and not easily treated. It takes the healing power of Jesus Christ to restore the soul of a wounded heart.  Psalm 147:3 says, “He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds.” That’s the love of the Father.  The healing power of Jesus can heal every wound, but we must relinquish our will for His will to be done in our lives.  The years of abuse places chains and layers of defense mechanisms not allowing true healing to take place, until we allow Jesus to have full access. 

Today, Declare these words with me. 

“I Declare In the mighty name of Jesus Christ who is my Savior, my Healer and deliverer that every stronghold is broken in the name of Jesus.  Lord, I relinquish my will, so that your will can be done in my life. Jesus take hold of my heart and search every broken area and bring healing. Lord, I will not fear because you are with me; I won’t be dismayed, for you are my God. Your word declares that you will strengthen and help me, you will uphold me with your righteous right hand. Forgive me Lord of all my transgressions and set me free from my past. Create in me a clean heart and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me and establish me. In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen”

As we all know the world has been shaken with this COVID-19 pandemic.  All throughout the world many have become sick and many have perished. Countless believers taken home early.  However, even through this time we must remain faithful and continue to build in our walk. We must continue the work that God has placed in our hands. The building of our Faith is crucial for our spiritual lives.  If we investigate the study of Noah and all he faced.  We see a man that was truly Faithful, Obedient, and went through a trying time.  It couldn’t have been easy but his Fear of the Lord, moved his Faith into action, leading him to Obedience. Noah displayed true reverence of the Lord by what was expected of him and did.

The bible tells us in Genesis 6:9, “Noah was a just man, perfect in his generations. Noah walked with God.”  This tells us that Noah was blameless, displayed integrity not easily moved by the surroundings. He had a sound mind, not wavering in his Faith. He was an eyewitness to the wickedness of the people, and this did not corrupt his way of thinking.  His relationship with the Lord was solid. Noah walking with the Lord displays constant communion with God.  In order for us to develop a solid relationship as Noah’s, we have to take notice that relationships are built on trust, intimacy, certainty, and love. Noah’s fear of the Lord moved him into action.

The bible tells us in Hebrews 11:7

7By faith Noah, being divinely warned of things not yet seen, moved with godly fear, prepared an ark for the saving of his household, by which he condemned the world and became heir of the righteousness which is according to faith

What is moving us? Is our Fear of the Lord directing us into action? Are we sound minded? Or are we looking at this pandemic and allowing fear to shake us, to overcome us, and keep us trapped in our fears of the pandemic.  I’m sure we have all been shaken to our core, with the loved ones of others dying, sick and some alone. However, God still has a plan.  He is still sovereign and is still Forever Present even now.  He was with Noah at that time and He is still with us now.

The Lord was fed up with the humanity and speaks to Noah about His plan to send a flood.  Now  just as we have seen many sick and dying.  Noah was a man that loved the Lord and he must have displayed love for humanity even in their wickedness.  Although there was favor over Noah and his family, I’m sure this was not easy to understand.  As individuals if we are not strong in our faith and trust in God, we can easily fall into anger with God and question God in His doings. We can easily fall and say, “God where are you in this Pandemic”?  Someone asked me “Where do you think God is, in all this”?  My response was, “He is still seated on the Throne, He alone has a plan”.  Yes, its hurtful to see, yes, we are sad, but God still has a plan. For whatever reason God allowed this to happen we still must continue to build and be that light. Just as Noah was the light.

Let’s look at Noah.

God gives specific instructions for Noah. But I will focus on 3

1. Make an ark-BUILD
2. Go into the ark (family)
3. Take food, gather

As I began to study, it brought to light all that we are facing at this present time. The quarantine interrupted all our lives.  We are no longer able to come and go as we please. We are unable to see our loved ones. Our churches are closed, and some have lost jobs; children are now closed off in their homes. Total interruption! 

See at times God will have to interrupt our lives, our plans to get our attention.

Noah, under the circumstances of knowing what God was going to do to the earth, He had to Build.  He couldn’t waver in his thinking, as painful it might have been, that nobody will change.  He continued to Build.  It took Noah 120 years to build the ark.  Continuously building not only the Ark, but in his Faith.  He couldn’t afford to lose himself.  His life depended on it.  His Family needed saving.  His Fear moved him into action, leading him into obedience.  I’m certain Noah prayed for the humanity, I’m certain he wept for humanity, but he kept building, gathering what he needed to build.

What are you using to build?

Noah needed tools, wood amongst other things to keep things from falling apart as he built the Ark.  The word of God is our foundation, that sustains us, it keeps us from falling apart.  It keeps us on the task at hand. As we build, we are sharing the Gospel, we are preaching, we are speaking to the hearts to turn to Jesus. We are praying, we are crying with those that need us. 

Part of being the Light of this world is by displaying that love.  Do you think that Noah kept it to himself?  Do you think that Noah, who loved the Lord, walked with God, as a just man kept it all to himself?  I’m sure he preached, prayed and made supplications. So, despite what we see, despite what we all are facing, we must continue to preach, speak, pray and build. Reach the ones that we think can’t be reached. The bible tells us in Mathew 5:13-16,

13“You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men.14“You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. 15Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. 16Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven”

What fascinates me about this is Noah’s obedience and faith through it all.  He trusted God through it all.  Noah built, He went into the Ark and gathered all he needed.

Does this sound familiar?  God not only interrupted the life of a man, he quarantined him.  Here we are in quarantine we had to be closed off, we had to now deal with being home. What Now? The building didn’t stop when God shut the door of the Ark.  Noah had to continue in his faith.  As the waters rise, God spared him. We weren’t there but all humanity was being wiped out, can you imagine the cries, the screaming, the people wailing.  Maybe some banged on the Ark to let them in.  Noah under the circumstances had to continue to remain faithful.  This story is not to implement fear but to open our eyes, that we are seeing many things just as Noah, but we must continue to do what God told us to do. We were chosen for a purpose.  That purpose is to continue this walk as the heirs of the kingdom of God, royal priesthood and proclaim the name of the Lord.

In 1 Peter 2:5-10 says it best.  “9But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light; 10who once were not a people but are now the people of God, who had not obtained mercy but now have obtained mercy.”

Some of us are going crazy in the quarantine but take it as a sign for you to become more intimate with the Lord.  Take is as a sign that we are not deserving of his grace and mercy, yet he chose us for a purpose.  Stop, listen to what God is telling us as the body of Christ.  We must continue to build in our Faith and trust in the Lord, not forgetting his commandments.  Noah’s building had to continue.  In closed quarters we can easily lose our faith, seeing all that is happening. Temptations and spiritual death can take over in this time, depression can overtake us.  That is why its so important to continue in our faith, build up in the word that continues to build us.

What struck my mind in this study, not God wiping out humanity, but that God wanted to do something in the life of Noah.  In this story we see God’s omnificence, omnipotence, omniscience and His omnipresence. Noah during this had come to see who His God truly was. There was a time of separation that needed to take place in the life of Noah.  The life of Noah at that very moment in time opened a part of him like never before. 

God Remembers Noah! What are you doing to be remembered?

What is this Quarantine going to do in your life? What will you do in the waiting?

Noah patiently waited on the Lord, for instructions.

Psalm 27:14

14Wait[e] on the Lord;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the Lord!

Some of us are ready to step out of this quarantine to get back to what we think is the normality but are we waiting patiently.  Are we waiting on God to direct us in our steps? Or are we desiring to step out of this quarantine with our own selfish desires, not learning a thing. Life will not be the same after the quarantine, just as it wasn’t for Noah. It was changed completely for Noah. However, his fear of the Lord, birthed out a renewed faith. Every step we take and decision we make coming out of this is just as important as the separation, (quarantine).

When it all was dry on the earth. God spoke. He instructs Noah to step out of the Ark with his family, and all the animals. The interesting part of this is that Noah built an Altar to the Lord.  His life was forever changed.

Genesis 8:20-21

20Then Noah built an altar to the Lord, and took of every clean animal and of every clean bird, and offered burnt offerings on the altar. 21And the Lord smelled a soothing aroma. Then the Lord said in His heart, “I will never again curse the ground for man’s sake, although the imagination[a] of man’s heart is evil from his youth; nor will I again destroy every living thing as I have done.

Noah performed his role of Priesthood and offered up burnt offerings. God is who declares if a burnt offering is accepted. The soothing aroma that the Lord smelled shows us that He was pleased with Noah. Noah was obedient in every step of the way.  The bible tells us in various occasion that “Noah did according to all that God commanded him, so he did”.   God was pleased how he handled the circumstance, the devastation the separation thus delivering him.  He blessed Noah and his family, Giving promises to him and the descendants after him.

What can we learn from this?

Everything that we do now in this time is crucial and important. Our lives depend on it. Our Lord reminds us we must continue to build in our walk.

Our lives must change, for God to be pleased with our offerings. We must not waver in our faith and take this time of separation to build in our relationship with the Lord, reach out to others, spread the Gospel. Our lives will be the sacrifice, so when the sweet fragrance reaches the Heavens, God can be pleased.  In the beginning we saw that although Noah was a just man, blameless, he still had to go through this process of separation. Separation births out Renewed Faith, and strength

If we have taken the Lord for granted, If we have turned our back on the Lord for whatever reason, If we took His mercy for granted, If we have fallen short and sinned against our God.

Now is the time to ask for repentance, Now is the time to turn back to the Lord.

Now is the time to set our selfish desires to the pit of hell where they belong and let God Direct our every steps.

Jesus is coming soon, and we have to be able to hear from Heaven.  Every decision and step in our spiritual lives is important and part of it is walking in His light and sharing that Light.

Hebrews 10: 19-25

19Therefore, brethren, having boldness[f] to enter the Holiest by the blood of Jesus, 20by a new and living way which He consecrated for us, through the veil, that is, His flesh, 21and having a High Priest over the house of God, 22let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. 23Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful. 24And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, 25not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching

1 Peter 5:10

10But [f]may the God of all grace, who called [g]us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, [h]perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you. 11To Him be the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen

Today I take off the mask and reveal the little girl that was broken, abused and torn. I was that little girl who was molested and taken advantage of. “But God still had a plan.” I was that little girl who witnessed domestic violence and became angry and bitter. “But God still had a plan”. I was that young adult that found love in all the wrong places. I was trying to fill up empty spaces of lack in my life. But Yet! “God had a plan”! I learned how to put on the mask and take it off. It was something that I grew accustom doing. Once I had my first born, I stopped doing certain things but in the inside I was destroyed. On the outside I worked hard, finished school, did all that I could to support my family but yet I was broken. Alone with nobody around, the fear of my unstable feelings kept creeping up inside of me. I was wishing I was never born. Such an evil device of the enemy. But “ God had a plan”.
My mind was the enemies playground, I fell in deep depression and wanted to end my life many times and even tried. But yet, “God still had a plan”! His purpose was more powerful than the enemies devices. I hid behind my mask that appeared strong but I was hiding in shame of my decisions, and in my shame of mistakes. Anger gripped my heart of not having a stable childhood, abandoned by my father, and trusting my heart and it always failed me. The walls were crashing in on me and I couldn’t bare it! My life was going down. Throughout my life I kept building pieces of my wall all around me and my children. Not trusting not letting anyone in. You can be a great mom, but feel empty from the inside. Part of the mask is being functional in many things but yet dysfunctional within. I felt worthless and searched for someone who can fill that void. I wanted what I never had, a complete family. However, I fell in a toxic relationship. Who would have ever thought I would be the one receiving punches, slaps behind closed doors and go to college and go to work. Thinking I still had a grip on my life. Moment after moment being stripped of my dignity, my sense of worth, my heart being torn almost cost me my life. Yet with all this, “God still had a plan”. There came a moment when I thought I had a grip on my life but everything was falling apart. I wanted to be numb and drank my pain away temporarily until I would wake up deeper in my darkness. I needed saving.
I was in a relationship that only God could help me with and He did! He gave me a way out! It might not have been the way I wanted but He did. One night I had a dream that my children’s father was going to hurt me but something was blocking him to come near me. The same night His plan was to break into my home and kill me. He banged and banged on my door almost to the last hinge. Fear and survival gripped me like never before. As any mother would I put my babies in a closet and told them never to come out until I said so. I was ready for whatever was going to come through that door! But yet “ God had a plan”, He covered me! He let me see that nothing was coming in between His plan! Life was never perfect but God had to repair all the damage. He still is doing wonderful things in me even when it hurts. He gave me courage! He showed me His love was enough. Why? Because He had a plan!

Let Your True Beauty Shine

How Great is the Lord’s love and faithfulness. Do you know you were created with a purpose? Although, life can hit us hard we are created with a divine design. At times we make the wrong turns in life but God doesn’t love us any less. However he wants to direct us in that perfect plan. He knows your heart and will do anything, to show you His Love. You belong to him because he created you.

We are reminded in the word of the Lord in Isaiah 45:4-7 , “For Jacob My servant’s sake, And Israel My elect, I have even called you by your name; I have named you, though you have not known Me. I am the LORD, and there is no other; There is no God besides Me. I will gird you, though you have not known Me, That they may know from the rising of the sun to its setting That there is none besides Me. I am the LORD, and there is no other; I form the light and create darkness, I make peace and create calamity; I, the LORD, do all these things. ’”

I want to remind someone today that nothing can separate you from the Love of God. His Love and Mercy endures forever. So be encouraged today that no matter what life brings your way, Turn to Christ and He will lead you and comfort you.

Pray this prayer..

“O LORD, You have searched me and known me. You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought afar off. You comprehend my path and my lying down, And are acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word on my tongue, But behold, O LORD, You know it altogether. You have hedged me behind and before, And laid Your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; It is high, I cannot attain it. Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there. If I take the wings of the morning, And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, Even there Your hand shall lead me, And Your right hand shall hold me. If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on me,” Even the night shall be light about me; Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You, But the night shines as the day; The darkness and the light are both alike to You. For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them. How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; When I awake, I am still with You. Oh, that You would slay the wicked, O God! Depart from me, therefore, you bloodthirsty men. For they speak against You wickedly; Your enemies take Your name in vain. Do I not hate them, O LORD, who hate You? And do I not loathe those who rise up against You? I hate them with perfect hatred; I count them my enemies. Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties; And see if there is any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting.” Amen!🙏

Psalms 139:1-24

May The Peace of God continue strengthen you. God Bless you, all.

In a time of crisis or chaos, there is always a call from deep within, that calls out to the Father. Our Lord is gracious and merciful to hear our request but He may not answer in our time. However, what are we doing in the midst of our waiting. The same way way we call out, “Hear us, Lord” are We hearing him. Truthfully speaking are we doing all that He has told us to do. It’s funny how we want God to answer right now, but we fail when He calls on us. We make excuses of not being ready, or occupied in our daily lives. We allow the chaos the crisis to overtake us. We forget that He commands the Earth, that He’s Sovereign and The Author and Finisher of our Faith. Let’s be reminded that our hearts beat because He has called us for a purpose, greater than we could imagine.

So what should we do in our waiting? The Bible tells us in II Chronicles 7:14, “if My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.”

This is the time where we can’t make excuses. As we want Him to be attentive to our prayers, Let’s Be attentive and embrace His call. Jesus is calling us to Rise, from the pit we are in. He’s calling out the unbelief, so You can see Truth. He’s searching for that remnant that will Stand for Truth. He’s preparing His Church, for His return. What will you be doing to prepare in the midst of the crisis and chaos. Jesus tells us in Mark 13:32-37, “But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. Take heed, watch and pray; for you do not know when the time is. It is like a man going to a far country, who left his house and gave authority to his servants, and to each his work, and commanded the doorkeeper to watch. Watch therefore, for you do not know when the master of the house is coming—in the evening, at midnight, at the crowing of the rooster, or in the morning— lest, coming suddenly, he find you sleeping. And what I say to you, I say to all: Watch!”

Let’s turn to the Lord at this time. We can focus on all the bad happening but what good is it, and what do we gain. We can wait on the Lord, Humble ourselves, pray and seek Him while He can be found and then He will say, “Now My eyes will be open and My ears attentive to prayer made in this place.” (II Chronicles‬ ‭7:15‬ ‭NKJV‬‬)
We have a God that hears our cries and sees every tear shed. His Love and mercy endures forever.

Turn to the Lord, Jesus Christ. Accept Him as your Lord and Savior, Embrace His Love and purpose for your Life.

God Bless you, All☺️🌹

God Bless you all! I want to share a portion of scripture. I pray through this time you may find comfort in knowing, That God is our Refuge. We shall not fear! May the Lord cover you in Peace!

“May the LORD answer you in the day of trouble; May the name of the God of Jacob defend you; May He send you help from the sanctuary, And strengthen you out of Zion; May He remember all your offerings, And accept your burnt sacrifice. Selah May He grant you according to your heart’s desire, And fulfill all your purpose. We will rejoice in your salvation, And in the name of our God we will set up our banners! May the LORD fulfill all your petitions. Now I know that the LORD saves His anointed; He will answer him from His holy heaven With the saving strength of His right hand. Some trust in chariots, and some in horses; But we will remember the name of the LORD our God. They have bowed down and fallen; But we have risen and stand upright. Save, LORD! May the King answer us when we call.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭20:1-9‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Pray this prayer with me.

Father God, I thank you for your Love and mercies. I thank you because You make us lie down in green pastures, You lead us beside the still waters. Lord, You restore our soul and lead us in the path of righteousness, for Your names sake. Though we walk through the shadow of death, we will fear no evil, for You are with me and my family. Your rod and staff, they comfort us. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; My cup runs over and I thank you. Surely Your goodness and mercy will follow us All the days of our lives; And we will dwell in the house of the LORD Forever. Thank You, for the Peace and everlasting Love. Amen.
‭‭

May the Lord continue to comfort you, and protect you. Remember, He is our Strength. Do not Fear For He is Your God

As women we at times carry the shame of our past, as a banner across our chest. We subconsciously think that if anyone knew our secrets, our struggles, our insecurities or pain, they would write us off. Our own minds become this stumbling block making us believe we are no good. I’ve learned that the devil wants you to feel worthless, he wants you to stay in a pit of misery. However, there is a time where we will have to meet Jesus at the well.

I remember as if it were yesterday, feeling so alone not able to blend in or fit in as a kid. I felt as if the world knew my secret. I saw others laughing and giggling, but were their homes the same as mine. All I knew, I felt different! In junior high school I became more outgoing but inside I was hiding a deep wound. I was angry inside, I trusted nobody. Feelings of abandonment and hatred were in the center of my heart and I kept Burying it, Burying it, until I was numb. I needed someone to press the SOS button, pull the plug in my life because I was on the verge of disaster. My God, I needed Jesus. Once I made it into High School , that was a different world. High school came with it’s high and lows. My father was now in my life periodically, not as I liked but it was something. So I was happy about that. The best birthday ever was when I hit 14. He surprised me on my birthday. God has a way of mending things. Little did I know that God was preparing me.

One day my mom received a call from my aunt and tells us that my father was ill. As a kid we think “well ok, he just has to see a doctor, he’ll be ok “. Not fully understanding, that his life will be a battle he lost, but gained in heaven. Once I fully understood that he may not live very long, I felt a huge fist in the pit of my stomach. I felt my world crashing. I felt as if I was cheated. I was angry, scared and hated the fact we became close, to now possibly losing him again. My father passed away when I was 17 or 18 yrs old. That was something that broke my heart in many ways. I was fatherless once again. All the while this is happening, as my life unfolds, who would have ever thought, I would meet Jesus at the well. The very moment of my life when I gave up. All my fears, all my hurt, all my anger was boiling up to the rim. It was spilling over with bad choices, suicidal thoughts until I threw myself on the ground. I had an empty vessel, I had no water but I was at the well.

The Samaritan woman In the book of John 4:4-26 is so important to study. It gives us understanding that without Jesus we will always be empty. Jesus meeting her there, knowing all that’s she’s been through and willing to stop for her, speaks volumes. It’s the same for you. He is waiting to meet you by the well. The funny thing is that Jesus asked her “Give Me a drink”. He had no container but she did and it was empty. He knew her life was empty. He knew her secrets, He knew her struggles and stopped just for her.

I was that woman. I tried to fill my own container, my life, my heart with things that I thought would help me. I kept trying to fix what I couldn’t fix with temporary things. I buried my pain but it was coming up in all I did. I was drinking, I was violent and angry. I just didn’t see it. It wasn’t until I truly wanted different. One day I was so overwhelmed crying on the floor and said “If your real, then help me, I can’t take this”. I can’t say a light shined through my room but I remember that I felt comforted. I believe that was a starting point. Jesus was at the well waiting for me and I wanted that living water. God has transformed my life and I’m forever grateful. I was once fatherless and now I gained a Father, a healer and mender of my broken heart. He’s wonderful!!

Ladies, don’t carry your past as a banner. Let God into you’re heart and fully accept him as your Lord and Savior. Meet Him at the well!

God bless you all.♥️

As I thought of this title, I could hear in the far distance of my mind , the beautiful laughter of children. The sound so distinct and free. The innocence of running, playing with no reserve, such an invigorating feeling. We were once that child. Running and laughing, with our hair a mess, broken stockings and dirty hands we played. If we were ever able to script our life we could never take out, our childhood. It’s where it all begins. Just, what if all we can remember so vividly is our painful past. Pain has a sneaky way of producing and the enemy has every involvement. He studies our life our families. He uses those things to hinder us at a young age. If we look back at scripture, even Mary had to flee to protect her son Jesus from being killed. Moses was also placed in the Nile river to protect him from being killed. All a plot of the enemy to destroy them, at a young age. However, The plan of The Lord always prevails! Jesus is the source and He always has the back up plan. So no matter what we went through in the past God has a way of changing it around. So what happens to the woman who was gripped at that young age? As I think of what else to say, I feel the touch of my father urging me to continue to write. It’s time for the Little girl to come out! I give God all the Glory and Honor for what he’s done and continues to do, in my life. So here we go! As a little girl I had a dad that wasn’t present for the majority of my life. My mom was young and did the very best to make our lives joyous and comfortable. My fondest memories was having my mother playing games with us outside. Playing dress up and taking us to thrift stores. A thrift store filled with books and all these fun things. Who would have ever thought even with the fondest moments, there’s other moments, you wish could be erased. Just like an erasable marker, just simply wiping it away. Not possible. At the age of 3 or 4, I remember my first violation. I was in Puerto Rico and was molested by a family members husband. Being so small all I can remember is feeling scared and not understanding what was happening. Once I was in kindergarten I was being molested by my stepfather for many years up until the age of 9. My stepfather was an alcoholic and physically abusive toward everyone in the household. Fear took over my life. I watched as my mom would be abused physically and my brother. Although I was scared I also felt this was normal. I knew nothing else. I became so scared of the dark, and scared to sleep. Fear of the abuse that was constant in my life. The best times I can remember were my temporary escapes. Boy, God was there. Summers came and off to grandmas house I went. Although she was stern but we played all day. I didn’t care as long as I didn’t have to experience another evening being touched. But once the summer was gone, dread came over me. This happened for many years. So how can a child ever recover on their own, Only by the love of Christ. I grew up into this young woman with many hurts and anger. Who would have ever known, that God was taking my life in His hands. To make an amazing story. Although I surrendered my life to Christ, the little girl inside that was broken inside, had to come out. Once and for all I needed to be healed. I feel like my life had many layers and through every layer God did something new and still is. The love that I needed came in the width and depth of my Lord, Jesus Christ. So the pain and hurt couldn’t dwell in this heart anymore. We become so accustomed to the pain and hurt we know nothing else. We don’t know what true love is because it was distorted. It becomes a cycle that needed to be broken in order for me to be free. The Bible teaches us in Mathew 11:28, “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”. I needed that encounter. I was tired of feeling the way that I did. So once I received that first encounter with The Lord, I wanted more. I was willing but it was never easy. Many times I shut the door because my past was to painful for me to even remember. I remember one incident in a Bible based 12 step program, we were told to write down what we went through, how it affected us and how do we feel now? Once we would write it we could throw it away. I stood looking at that paper and I remember anger and hurt started to rise in me. I looked around saw bold individuals writing a list but I couldn’t. I began to cry and I couldn’t write one thing. As the leader came to me she assured me nobody was going to read it but it was for me to let it out. I kept crying and pushed away the paper and I said “It’s bad enough to know I went through it but I don’t want to look at it on paper”. The reality of it on paper made it all the more real. See I was living a lie I wanted to alter my own life and I was dying inside. I needed Jesus to be my Healer, Deliverer and My Father. Thank you, Lord for rescuing my Soul. God Bless you all. I pray that you see in my eyes that when we turn to Christ, He will be your mender. I will continue to share my story and hope your blessed.

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As a woman we are faced with many complicated challenges. However, we persevere. We have a way of coming out of the storm and with wobbly knees, we stand. However, with wobbly knees we are deeply scarred. Our outer appearance is well kept, we dusted ourselves off, we patched up existing wounds with temporary “Fixes”, but what about the inner girl. The child, the teen, the abused, the rejected and the abandoned part of you. Did she ever get a complete makeover in the inside? Did she ever forgive her abuser? Did she ever fill the empty void in her soul? Or did she just come out of the rubble with scars not only outside but in the inside. Wounds on the outside are easy to patch up. However, the wounds and scars in the inside are not as easy to see, because they are hidden from everyone, including yourself. What is your temporary fix? Is it drinking and self medicating? Are you the isolated one, that won’t come out but won’t let nobody in? Or is the little girl seeking approval and love by giving herself up totally to men, who only will tarnish you, derail you and destroy you. I know of A Man, Who heals all wounds from the inside out. This Man, touches areas within, that no human form can touch. His name came with Power, Authority and His love consumes the very being of our souls. His name is Jesus! I was a woman on the outside but a broken little girl in the inside. There was a voice screaming, crying from within, in the form of a child. She wanted the warm touch of the Father but how could she get there. She needed The Savior! I was that woman! I needed that touch from heaven. I needed His Love to captivate me because I was walking fatherless. Where do you find yourself today? Are you willing to allow the Lord to help you out the rubble or are you trying to do it all by yourself, patching it all up with temporary fixes. My beautiful woman come alive in God. He’s the only source.

Thank you for joining me. I want to let you know my story and how God continuously saved me from me. He was my Saving Grace. God Bless☺️

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton